Rap's not the only misogynistic music

Rap's not the only misogynistic music

November 15, 2001

'Smatter Of Fact
By Katharhynn Heidelberg

Music can be sexist, even if it’s true that everything cannot always be taken seriously. But when the music conveys a message that destroys the individuality of an entire group, and when it becomes so ingrained as to be considered normal, perhaps a little seriousness is required.

Many concerned parents and women’s groups have aimed their gun sights at the sexually explicit, obscene lyrics to be found in ‘rap. I’ve set mine on Nashville. Yep. Good old toe-tapping, old-time-values country and western music is as guilty as the shock jocks are of stereotyping American women .

Not all country, nor even most of it, is sexist, and some is even flagrant man-bashing. But I find in country a recurring theme, often packaged as flattery, that is aimed at denying women anything beyond a male-determined identity.

Glen Campbell sang of "the dreams of the everyday housewife" ages ago. The song let us know that it wasn’t all Mr. clean for this self-sacrificing gal. Nope, between studying her wrinkles and picking up her apron, our rare ruby was dreaming of all the men she had waiting in line before marriage.

On one hand, the song does recognize that a housewife might have other things on her mind than housework, and indeed concedes "she gave up the good life for me." But it fails to recognize that she might, if given the chance, think of something besides a man. Most real women prefer a broader spectra of fantasies than the stark clean-toilet-or-party-girl choice offered by this well-meaning crooner, who apparently believes you can’t have fun after you are married.

Then there’s always Tanya Tucker’s eerie "Blood Red and Goin’ Down." In it, a cuckolded man brings his child along as he stalks his straying wife and her lover "through every bar and honky-tonk as well" and then leaves the immoral pair "soaking up the sawdust on the floor."

No matter one’s feelings about adultery, attacking a mother in front of her child (thereby sending the message "this is what happens to women who upset men") is not a family value. The man was taking revenge for his ego’s sake, not his family’s. This may well have been Tucker’s point, but her ballad can also strike one as a justification for man-against-woman violence.

Classic country like Tucker’s is not the only offender in musical misogyny. A Ronnie Milsap song extols a wife who "keeps the home fires burning/while I’m out earning a living..." Again, the man is trying to be grateful. However, what he is grateful for is a servant whose entire life consists of waiting for her lord and master. She exists to comfort him from the world of "pouring rain" — and of course, to have "something cooking." An identity beyond this is immaterial. May God spare real women from this sort of "gratitude."

Alan Jackson’s "Home" also contains sexism masquerading as an accolade. It informs listeners that Momma "never had a social life, home was all she knew/except the time she took a job,to pay a bill or two." Momma is praised for the total rejection of both her human identity and the pursuit of the normal, balanced life that is in fact part and parcel to real housewives. (Who said caring for one’s family and having a life were mutually exclusive? Would we praise a father for such lobotomized servitude, or would we wonder what was wrong with him?)

What is a woman supposed to make of this song? (This one feels sorry for "Momma"!) Jackson’s declaration that a woman can do nothing better in life than produce and care for him and his sisters is not a compliment, but infantile arrogance. The apex of any mother’s achievement is for that mother to decide as an individual.

Although it is also destructive and sexist, I frankly prefer the message in rap which is at least upfront. I would rather be openly called a "‘ho", hear filthy comments about my "booty," or see some other woman whose talent at shaking hers greatly exceeds her musical gifts, than have someone repeatedly whisper in my ear the subtle, sugar-coated misogyny the above songs contain. After all, it’s easier to react to a shout than to a whisper.