Tolerance

Tolerance
A community's character is revealed in the tone of its interactions

August 11, 2001

Two events are scheduled this weekend to address the life and death of Fred Martinez Jr. Each event has the potential for healing and education. Each has the potential to deteriorate into something negative.

To everyone interested in expressing an opinion on recent events and the issues surrounding them, we would say this: Present your beliefs with dignity and decency.

Getting along with those who are very like us is relatively easy. Interacting with those whose opinions differ greatly is more of a challenge, especially when the ideas over which we differ are important to our respective identities. Good manners are most essential when they’re most difficult to manage.

The danger of stereotyping is great, especially if we ignore, or deny, areas of commonality. When we let ourselves believe that we are more different than alike, it becomes much easier to dismiss every aspect of our "opponent’s" messages. Identifying — or judging — a person by one characteristic (whether that be sexuality, religion, politics, age, ethnicity or any of a multitude of other single factors) ignores much of the reality of that person’s existence.

Montezuma County residents with an interest in this situation share at least one quality: They care very deeply about what happens in their community. They have different ideas about how an ideal community should look, but they speak similar words about wanting this to be a safe place for our children.

In order to create and preserve such a safe place, we need to acknowledge fears and discuss realities. For example, the idea that adults would recruit sexual partners from the ranks of children is certainly a cause for fear. The reality, however, is that gay and lesbian members of this community are horrified by the sexual abuse of children.

Likewise, the suspicion that all religious people are unthinkingly homophobic is a stereotype not supported by fact. Deep and sometimes divisive conversations about sexuality currently are taking place in several Christian denominations, and members involved on every side of those conversations consider themselves faithful.

One measure of a community is the civility of its dialogues. If we can talk about homosexuality without resorting to accusations and false characterizations, we will be better off. Anyone who wants others to adopt his or her philosophy would be well advised to behave in a manner those "others" will want to emulate.