Looking in the mirror each day

Looking in the mirror each day

May 29, 2001

Life in the Legislature
By State Representative Mark Larson

As I organized my office in preparation of the interim, the elation and relief that generally accompanies the completion of a successful session was noticeably absent. Oh, I still felt like a 400-pound bear just jumped off my back, but the satisfaction I experienced in the previous sessions wasn't there. I settled into my chair in reflection, my mind searching for reconciling feedback, my body exhausted and emitting telltale deep sighs of uneasiness. Was this sense of incompleteness merely a symptom of going days without end fighting battles and championing causes for the home front? Or were the feelings emanating from the constant uncertainty of knowing just who the enemy was and which flank you leave exposed? In retrospect, I suppose it was a combination of these factors. I resolved that I would wait a week, get some much-needed sleep and revisit this conundrum with a clearer, rested mind.

I came away from this session, or should I say these sessions, with a changed perspective. I learned a lot about myself, and I learned a lot about the dynamics of partisan politics.

I have been a businessman all of my adult life. I have striven to seek meaningful and fair compromise whenever possible, sometimes even to my own detriment. I have lived my life with a sense of compassion and sharing while trying to understand the wonderful complexities of human nature remaining wary of those who care only about themselves. Sometimes this philosophy leads to a tendency to trust my fellow man more than is reasonable or, indeed, than the conclusions of behavioral observations would thoughtfully render. What I learned about myself is that I expect everyone to meet me at face value and to be open and above board on issues. I found, especially this year, that this is not always true. So, I will learn. I will not sacrifice my principles of fairness and being straightforward. I will simply be more direct and forceful when encountering those who are less inclined. One test of a true statesman is gauged by their reactions when their hand is called.

I learned one other lesson about myself. I am not as forgiving as I previously thought I was. When I experience the sting of betrayal, dishonesty or deceit, I carry that indiscretion with me much more than I realized. I caught myself second-guessing everything that a person who had previously "stung" me was saying or doing. This type of thinking takes enormous time and energy, and in essence empowers that person. So, I resolved that, once identified, that person was simply not trusted and efforts to reconcile differences was a waste of time. Focusing on the negative only made me more negative.

Political partisanship achieved new heights in this session. Pandering to special interest without any effort at compromise seemed more prevalent. Maybe the problem is term limits or maybe the problem is an inadequate candidate recruitment effort, but the lack of institutional memory, combined with so darn many bills, means that partisan caucuses and coalitions will more heavily influence how a legislator votes. It is so critical that legislative candidates be selected based on their experience, preparation and core values rather than their ability to follow the pied piper of partisan politics. The propensity to follow blindly or without taking the due diligence necessary to understand the issue prior to commitment of a vote got several legislators into hot water this session ... and not all were freshman.

Next year I will be prepared, refreshed and enlightened. I know the players well and how they work. I have observed how each plays the game and whether or not they play by the rules. I now know what they value (constituents, lobbyists or self) and how they apply those values. I know myself a little better and can make the necessary adjustments that will make me more effective while representing you. I will be less negative toward bad actors and turn that energy into a deeper commitment to expose the truth. I will look in the mirror each day and ask myself candidly if I am living up to your support.