Every holiday season, news services carry two very different types of stories. One set is cheery, describing the peace and goodwill of the season, promoting Christmas traditions and reporting on the latest trends in holiday shopping. The other batch of stories is about the effect of all that goodwill on those who are excluded from it.

Many of the trappings of Christmas have very little to do with Christianity and even less relationship to the event that the holiday purports to celebrate. Dec. 25 was a date rather arbitrarily picked to celebrate an occurrence that didn’t include icicle lights dangling from the eaves, a jolly Santa, a decorated tree, colorfully wrapped gifts, greeting cards or much of the other frenzy we now associate with Christmas.

The emphasis on family and friends is a positive one. The exclusion of those individuals who may not have such connections, however, is a sad comment on society. The incidence of depression among people who are elderly and/or alone is highest during and shortly after the holidays, possibly because the emphasis on connections is so strong at that time. In addition, the stress of the season takes its toll on people who do not have the emotional resources to deal with it appropriately, and that sometimes results in physical or emotional abuse.

There’s so much we do well here in America. For example, we do a marvelous job of providing Christmas gifts for disadvantaged children, and food baskets for families who might otherwise have macaroni and cheese rather than turkey for Christmas dinner. The level of charitable giving during the holiday season is truly inspiring; anyone who spends a couple hours standing beside a Salvation Army kettle can attest to that.

Those methods of reaching out to others are very important, but the real meaning of Christmas doesn’t involve material goods and glitzy decorations. The best gift, this holiday season and all year around, is taking the time to care about someone in a meaningful way. Listening to a sad tale of loneliness can be much more difficult than dropping off a plate of cookies, and yet the results are infinitely more significant. Welcoming someone into a "family" celebration can be awkward at first, but it can prevent that person from feeling alone at a time of year when it seems as though everyone is enjoying fellowship.

Next time you see a mother who’s reached her wits’ end in Wal-Mart, commiserate. It just takes a few moments to say, "It looks like you’re having a tough time; can I watch your cart while you take your child outside to calm down?" When you get cut off in traffic, wave instead of making a rude gesture. Road rage isn’t a good demonstration of the holiday spirit. Make a point of smiling at everyone you meet on the street; it’s free, and it pays great dividends.

When you’re scouring the stores searching for a nice gift for Aunt Maude, who already has everything, consider spending the time to write a her newsy letter instead. Deliver Christmas cards to your neighbors in person, rather than expecting the mail carrier to do it for you.

If those efforts are not enough, remember that resources are available for those suffering from depression and other psychological difficulties during this time of celebration. The Southwest Colorado Mental Health Center at 565-7946 is one; the Southwest Memorial Hospital Emergency Room is another. In cases of domestic violence, the immediate response should be to dial 911, followed by a call to RENEW, a local volunteer agency that assists victims of domestic violence, at 565-2100.