By Katharhynn Heidelberg

The local high school turned out a fine crop of young leaders last week. Despite rain and hail earlier in the day, Panther Field was decked out with sunlight, blue sky and high hopes by the time the ceremonies got under way.

There wasn’t a thing in the world to spoil this special day. Except — and here I go again with my didactic, vaguely misanthropic mindset — for the lack of manners and respect.

As much as excited 18-year-olds might seem to be the target of my annoyance, the truth is, their behavior was just fine. They made it! It was their night! They had the right to be excited, and a little tomfoolery was to be expected of them.

I will emphasize the words "of them" before reviewing basic etiquette rules.

Rule One (Background Noises): When "Pomp and Circumstance" is playing, be quiet. This is not the time to scream out the name of your favorite grad, nor to boo your least favorite. Please, save your cheers for the presentation of diplomas. Just because graduation is held at an area typically associated with sporting events does not make it a World Wrestling Federation match.

For the same reason, it is totally unnecessary to provide a running commentary when you see your grad coming down the field. ( "Junior’s walking to his seat now...he’s nearing the chair...oops! There goes his cap... Wait! He sits! It’s good!")

Even if you can’t refrain from the above, for heaven’s sake, do not use graduation as an opportunity to "talk amongst yourselves."

Rule Two (Children): Here’s a sensitive one, and I swear that I’m not trying to be a meanie. The bottom line is, that while your children may be the center of your universe, the rest of the community would really prefer not to be subjected to their cute little antics, shrieking laughter and running about.

Equally, we would like to be spared the tendency your charming offspring have to call us obscene names and throw things at us. There is absolutely, positively no conceivable excuse for this sort of behavior at any public event.

Graduation ceremonies are long, and I am sensitive to the fact that little people have a lot less patience than I do. But when you go to a graduation, you do go to a ceremony, not a playground. If you are concerned about whether your children can last out the event, leave them home. If you are worried about how they will behave in public, leave them home. If you can’t do that, then accompany them at all times — for their safety, if nothing else. (This same rule also applies to pets).

Rule Three (Arriving Late): This is entirely your prerogative. However, if you do, please do not expect those who arrived on time to inconvenience themselves so that you can squeeze in where you please.

Rule Four (Clapping): This is a very simple rule. Do it for everyone, not just the grads you know. Everyone worked hard to be at graduation. They all deserve your respect and attention. Clapping is free. Clapping is easy. So come on and put your hands together!

Rule Five (Leaving Early): An even easier rule. Do it quietly. After all, the attention is supposed to be focused on the graduating class.

Helpful Hints: If you wonder whether or not what you have planned is appropriate for a high school graduation, ask yourself the following questions:

Would I bring Fluffy or Rover to church? Would I behave like this at a wedding? If this were a funeral, would I let little Susie stand on that nice man’s foot and holler like a banshee? The answers should be self-evident.