By Lee Pitts

A "town" does not necessarily become a "city" when its population reaches a magic figure, 10,000 people, for example. Whether you consider your borough a town or a city is more of an attitude. You probably live in a town if ...

•The tallest complex on Main Street isn’t an office building but a grain elevator.

•The elevation and the year the town was founded on your "city limits" sign are both larger than the population number.

•Your fire department consists of three volunteers and a high-pressure livestock sprayer, which also doubles as the town’s only car wash when the 4-H group borrows it to hold a fund-raiser in the bank’s parking lot.

•The only air pollution is caused by the three-bean soup at the coffee shop.

•Your movie theater has only one screen and the movies it presents are already out on video.

•Your newspaper is published weekly because there is not enough news on a daily basis.

•The closest thing to "fast food" is the aforementioned three-bean soup.

•The only street light comes from a soda machine in front of the gas station.

•There’s a faded picture of your high school’s mascot painted on a water tower that brags about winning a state championship in 1954.

•Your amusement park consists of a checkerboard, horseshoe and barbecue pit.

•If it wasn’t for the annual rodeo you’d hardly have any culture at all.

•Your bank and grocery store are not in the same building.

•If a curfew siren blew at night it would wake everyone up.

•Not found on any map, your town’s 15 seconds of fame was mentioned on the network news for breaking the state’s all-time low temperature record 30 years ago. And that event is still a main topic of conversation.

•The target of your only "drive-by shooting" was a water trough or a "No Trespassing" sign.

•When the local PTA talks about a problem with "class size," they are worried about having enough able bodies to field a football team.

•If you were to rank them as to the person you would least like to do without, the septic-tank pumper would come way before a mayor or dog-catcher.

•There’s no crime in your street and yes, you do have one — a street, that is.