Mother of abducted child writes prevention guidebook

Mother of abducted child writes prevention guidebook

Dec. 23, 2000

By Katharhynn Heidelberg
Journal Staff Writer

Every parent’s nightmare happens more often than one might think.

The Department of Juvenile Justice reports that at least 354,000 family abductions took place in 1990. From an alleged incident in Mancos this May, to a recent high-profile case in Albuquerque, the problem remains pervasive.

But the mother in the latter case is fighting back through the power of words.

Cindy Sealey, with the help of publisher Gwynne Spencer of Mancos, has just released Stolen Angels: Parental Abduction, Prevention and Rescue.

Stolen Angels is an instruction manual on preventing parental or family kidnappings, and guides parents through the often complex legalities that arise after a family abduction has taken place.

For Sealey, the book is the result of a five-year-long nightmare involving her son, James. On Sept. 17, 1995, James, then 18 months old, was abducted by his father, Douglas Vick Frawley, a British national. With the apparent complicity of his mother, Frawley took the boy to Newton-Abbot, South Devon.

Because the boy was then an infant, Frawley was able to disguise him as a girl when in public. The ruse was uncovered in 1996, and James was reunited with his mother in May of that year.

Sealey’s child returned, but his life was in tatters. His developmental capacity had been reversed by his ordeal to that of an 8-month-old’s, and he suffered from frequent panic attacks. "We just had to start over," Sealey said.

A second kidnap attempt by Frawley on July 27, 1997, dealt a severe blow to the family’s fragile peace. Sealey was severely injured in the resulting physical struggle.

A third attempt took place last week, on Dec. 15. Sealey was again physically attacked as she and James left their Northeast Heights home. The child escaped by running away, according to the Albuquerque Tribune.

A bench warrant has been issued for Frawley’s arrest. Frawley is charged with three counts of intentionally caused child abuse, unlawful interference with custody, aggravated battery on a household member, bribery of a witness and attempt to commit a felony.

As of press time, Frawley was still at large and is considered "extremely dangerous" by Albuquerque police.

The ordeal of the last several years has taught Sealey lessons she will not forget. With Stolen Angels, Sealey is able to share her experiences with other parents who fear an ex-partner might abduct their children.

Although she always feared Frawley might take James, officials "told me there was nothing I could do until he got on the plane — wrong!" She was also told by some that she should have seen it coming. "How did I know?" she said. "And, how do I convince a judge or a lawyer?"

Most law-enforcement agencies, she learned, can expend only about 72 hours of manpower on a missing-child case. "After that, you’re on your own."

Adding to the difficulty is that "the legal community does not really know how to deal with these things," Spencer said. "It’s hard for them to tell who’s the bad guy."

Society at large has a mixed view of parental kidnapping. "In his (Frawley’s) own mind, I’m sure he thinks he’s justified in doing this. However, this is not what people think," Spencer said. "It’s so damaging to the kids. It’s about power and revenge."

Sealey concurred. "You can get more for copying a video illegally than for shredding a child’s life," she said. "It’s just not taken seriously."

Another problem is that the law tends to focus on stranger abductions, despite the fact that most children are not abducted by strangers, Sealey said.

There are, therefore, scant resources parents can turn to. Although there is one case-study book concerning the aftermath of parental kidnapping, "there are no books, videos or resources for looking at parental-abduction problems," Sealey said. "I wrote down what I learned. It was a way to get it out of my head."

The book, she said, "gives you something to use that nervous energy on — lets you take action. It gives you a start. If you wait, you don’t stand a chance. The statistics are not in your favor."

Of paramount importance is advance preparation. "Reality happens when your child goes missing," Sealey said. "You stop being able to function. You go catatonic, you can’t figure out what the abductor might do, unless you had a way of putting the pieces together ahead of time."

Sealey learned of warning signs, called "red flags" in her book. These were developed by law-enforcement personnel who have had experience in parental kidnappings. She also drew upon the expertise of private investigator Dave Chatilier. "He taught me a lot about developing leads, and getting it going." For 16 hours a day, six days a week, Sealey worked on leads with the help of Amery Hutchison of Britain’s Project Reunite.

"I’m not a compulsive person, but it was so important to keep track of leads," she said. After James was returned, she continued to keep files and recently developed another, fresh lead sheet.

When the second attempt came, Sealey was ready. Because she had color posters and all relevant information — including a complete list of Frawley’s personality traits and names and addresses of his likely contacts — ready and waiting, the police had a better idea of how to proceed. The story was "on the news in an hour," and Frawley was placed on every blotter in the city. Additionally, the information was distributed to all airports within 200-mile radius.

"You only get 72 hours of their (the police’s) undivided attention," Sealey said. "But if you can hand them a road map, they can do more. It’s vital to have that information on hand."

Both Sealey and Spencer hope Stolen Angels will raise awareness about the problem of family abduction — and more importantly, the steps that can be taken to prevent an abduction, or how to react if the unthinkable happens.

"The utility of this book is that it prepares you by getting this stuff ready," Spencer said. "I am amazed that she (Sealey) pulled this all together" in the midst of crisis.

Sealey sees Stolen Angels as a tool to prevent misery. "If I could stop this for one other person, or give them the information that they need, it would be worth giving (this) book away."

The crisis is a long way from over. James, who is under police protection now, is "real tired of being locked in," his mother said. "He’s lived his whole life with this threat hanging over him. It’s not right for a child to have to do that. I want him to believe that the world is a safe place. He can’t understand why his dad is so brutal. Neither can I."

Stolen Angels is available for $29.50 at 1-800-253-4261, access code 00, or by mail from Kids Love Books, P.O. Box 121, Mancos, CO 81328.